I have a lot of insecurities.

In this post, I want to be as real as I possibly can with you, in the hopes that you find out that you’re not as alone as you may think. I want to share some of the insecurities that I have been overcoming.

Let’s get started:

1.  I am insecure about being in public. Yes, I am wild and crazy and I do consider myself socially courageous, but sometimes it’s because I overcompensate for my discomfort. This one is mild, because I know that if I leave the house more, I will be more comfortable around other people.

2.  I am insecure about the “me” that is most authentic. Sometimes I wonder when I am performing in front of others to impress them/gain their approval, in comparison to actually being “genuine”.

3.  I am insecure about my finances. I live with my parents, and all of my needs are provided for, making it “optional” for me to make money. And I have taken advantage. Since I got sick, I no longer made “money” a priority in my life. Looking back, this was a mistake. I am working on overcoming blocks to financial abundance. It’s a challenge.

4.  I am insecure about my relationships with my family. Sometimes I wish I could connect with all of my family members on a really deep level, but I feel like I’m stuck in old communication scripts from my childhood. I’m also insecure about what my family will think of me when they read this post.

5.  I am insecure about what I’m gonna do with my life. My WHOLE LIFE, I have been a big-time drifter from hobby to hobby. I stick with things for a long time, but the effort is pretty much always half-assed after the energetic burst at the beginning of a new hobby. I wonder if I will ever be able to stick with a project over the long term in a state of high energy.

6.  I am insecure about my relationship status. I’m 20, and I’ve been single my entire life. I’m not too concerned about that, since I’m setting up conditions to change that. But still; sometimes I feel like romance is something reserved for other people. Sometimes I feel like God has designated me to be celibate or something like that. Which I’m not too terrified of if it’s meant to be that way, but I do want to know what a relationship with a woman feels like.

7.  I’m insecure about my health. I’ve been battling Crohn’s Disease for the past 4+ years, and it hasn’t really gone into remission. I have read TONS of books/material about how we can heal ourselves with our own mind. I haven’t seen that yet. But I know that it’s possible, and I will continue my healing journey.

8.  I’m insecure about my ostomy bag. Not so much for myself, I’ve gotten used to it and I don’t mind it. But I’m concerned about how my future girlfriend will respond to it. A completely irrational fear, since I’ve read Jessica’s Blog.

9. I’m insecure about my social status in relationship. My whole life growing up, I have taken the submissive role in pretty much all of my relationships. Even my dog, God rest her soul, was the dominant one in our relationship. It feels very powerless, and I’m insecure about the pattern continuing throughout my life. This all relates to the insecurity of expressing my masculine sexual energy.

10. I’m insecure about my direction with Optimistic Wellness. I’ve been working on it for about 2 years, I have a little under 100 subscribers, and I get a lot of unsubscribes every week. Sometimes I wonder if my content sucks, if I’m really delivering practical tips that actually help.

11. I’m insecure about my intelligence. Sometimes I feel like a parrot who simply repeats what he’s read in books.

12. I’m insecure about my whole freaking life, and where it’s heading. I’ve got too many projects, too many things that I want to do, and I have no idea where it will end up. I want to learn Computer Science. I want to have a world-class education. I want to combine science with the humanities. I want to be a Reading Tutor. I want to be a Life Coach. I want to travel the world. I want to be a College Professor. I want to work online. I want to do public speaking. I want to be fluent in many languages. I want to be a fantastic guitar player.

There are so many things I want to do, and I have no idea where I’m gonna find the capacity to do all of them.

Ah, that felt good. Obviously, this is just a small handful of insecurities that I’m working on overcoming.

What are some of your biggest insecurities? Share them in the comments below, write me an e-mail, or record a video/write a post on your own blog! I wish you the best of luck on this journey!