What makes a meaningful life?

This is a question that has been perplexing human beings ever since the Ancient Greeks got some free time to think about it.

I don’t believe this question can ever be fully answered, because we’re all so different. That being said, a few aspects are nearly universal. Today, I’m going to talk about Kizuna, and how you can develop the habit of cultivating Kizuna in your own life.

Kizuna is a Japanese word that translates to “bond”

It refers to a bond that is shared between friends/family. It’s very much a concrete word as much as it’s an ideal concept. It’s practical, but I could go on philosophizing about it forever. That’s not what I’m going to do, though.

I’m going to give you some practical tools for Kizuna that you can start using TODAY.

Kizuna is the art of forming bonds, and it is worth it to spend a significant amount of time cultivating these bonds. Upon first glance, the previous sentence seems like a no-brainer. But as I am beginning to consciously form great bonds with great people, I realize how little time I spent doing it before I decided to focus on Kizuna.

Best ways to start the practice of Kizuna:

 

• Reach out to a cool new person every single day via E-mail. Don’t be so rigid and formal when reaching out to people. This is Kizuna we’re talking about. Not a structured and boring business relationship. Some cool lists of people:100 People Doing Extraordinary Things
  20 Bloggers to Watch in 2012
  Inc. 30 Under 30

 

• Have a phone call every. single. day. And not just routine phone calls, but calls that actually involve connection. Now, an important distinction: It’s important to make sure that you don’t stagnate. It’s so easy to keep your call list few in number. But talking to people on the phone that you don’t know very well will help you SO MUCH with your kizuna forming skills!

 

• If you have Facebook, go on facebook chat and message someone you don’t know very well, but would like to get to know better. This step may involve anxiety, but that’s okay.
  

  Just know that you cannot form genuine bonds and cultivate Kizuna without going through and confronting many fears of your own.

 

• Twitter, when used the right way, can be a beautiful tool for building connections. Me and Max Dubinsky were recently having a conversation, and we agreed that RETWEETS CHANGE LIVES! I met him through his wife Lauren’s retweet, and he met his wife through someone else’s Retweet. Unbelievable, huh? It’s true, though. When you are actively using a medium that has potential for connection, amazing things WILL happen. The more you reach out, the more this effect is compounded. Twitter for Kizuna. Who knew?!

 

An Important Note

You will not be able to cultivate Kizuna with every single person you reach out to, via phone, face-to-face, and/or e-mail. This is absolutely okay. When you try to figure out why you can’t seem to connect well with a particular person, it may sting a little bit. But over time, the feeling will become more tolerable

There is no secret to connection. However, If you want to know a little more about the right way to develop Kizuna with people, check out these 3 resources:

• Never Eat Alone – by Keith Ferrazzi

(affiliate link) This book is the granddaddy of Kizuna. I’ve read “Never Eat Alone” twice in the past 2 months, and I plan to read it again later. The book is filled with practical tips for building relationships, as well as the backbone philosophy of relationship building. It must be read.

• How to Network with Busy People – Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina wrote an excellent series about how to connect with busy and influential people. It’s a great read, because Steve stresses that genuine bonds should be the backbone of every relationship. He gets rid of the line between business and personal relationship. And he gives a TON of practical tips.

• Why Your Networking Sucks — And the Secret to Doing it Right

Therese has a great knack for condensing big topics and getting their message across in an engaging and entertaining way. This networking post sums up many of the concepts in “Never Eat Alone” in a very quick and easy read! Check out Therese’s blog over at The Unlost, because she’s doing amazing things over there.

If I could give one tip for Kizuna, it would be this:

Practice it.

Every.

Single.

Day.

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